Inside I died. I felt every ounce of my soul leak out my pores. I wanted to cut my skin off. I wanted to die. I would deal with the consequences of going to hell if it mean leaving this hell I called my life. I thought about all the ways I could kill myself. None of them seemed good enough at the time. I wanted to hurt all the way until my last breath. I didnt want the classic slit my wrist way or to hang myself. I didnt own a gun but even then I didnt want to shot myself. I couldnt swallow a bottle of pills either. I decided to die by electrocution. It was perfect and extremely painful until the end. I showered and didnt dry off. I stuck my finger in the socket. My life flashed and I didnt miss anything about it. I smelled my flesh burning. I didnt cry or scream. I felt relieved it was finally over. I looked at my body as I stood up. I felt free…..I dont regret my death.
I lie next to him thinking of someone else. I tried to forget him but I miss him. He left me alone to die or neglect and sadness so I found something fun. The pain and the pleasure was beyond unbearable. It was what I need after my heart was broken and i wanted to die. Now I am lying here wondering what I do now. I cant go back but there is no future here. I sat up and cried half the night but I couldnt remember why. I have thoughts of just killing him and throwing him in my trunk. Both of them. Then again I could runaway and start over but I am tired of leaving a trail of bodies.
I could hear it coming. I was in the dark trying to escape it. I felt my heart beating through my chest. I thought I would die. I was scared to turn around. I couldnt move anymore. My legs felt heavy and exhausted. It was silent. I looked around and saw nothing. The street lights started to flicker. I knew it was time to run again. I ran to a house and beat on the door. I begged for help but nobody answered. I was going to die. I turned around to see it was completely dark. No more street lights. I closed my eyes and prayed it wouldnt hurt too much.
He told me loved me and we would be together forever but it was a lie. He said there was nothing there but he lied. He still loved her. She gave him children and I cant. Heart so broken I needed something to ease the pain. I didnt want alcohol or drugs to kill my pain. I wanted to kill him. It was the easiest solution. One less guy to walk the planet holding the pieces of my heart like it was a joke.
We went out to dinner and acted like nothing was wrong. We drove to the beach to see the stars. I slit his throat and watched him bleed out. The last facial expression he had stays in my head forever but I am happier knowing he is gone. No more tears or broken heart. No more feeling at all.
The good thing about living in a town that stays cold all year around is you can hide bodies. They stay cold so no funky smell. There was a pedophile living in our town. People were afraid to let their children come out and play. One day I saw him stop a child. I told the kid to run home. The man was upset. I wasnt. I had a motive.
When it was dark out I snuck into his house . He heard me and came to look for the sound. I threw a bag over his head and pushed him down the stairs. He was still breathing. I drug him out or his house as people watched. Nobody said a word or tried to save him. As I beat him senseless with a bat.
He finally stopped twitching.
Our town has a secret and we are glad it stays cold other wise someone would find his body.
I lied wide awake inside my coffin trying to figure out how to get out. I wondered who would bury my alive. I touched my neck and felt no pulse. I was dead. Why am I analyzing my death. What the hell was I do awake when I am dead?
I turned around to see my grave. How did I get out the coffin? Im a teleporting ghost. I never felt so disappointed. I thought Id be a scary powerful ghost not some stupid teleporting ghoul.
I walked down the road where no sounds were heard. I saw him. He was death. He approached me and smiled. I was already dead I figured hell was next. He gave me his scythe as he smiled and left me. He left a note that told me I am death now.
I thought when I died I would be at peace not have such a stupid burden.
He kept yelling as I was minding my own business. He was throwing stuff around as I put on my first coat of nail polish. It was beautiful. Royal blue with glitter in the mix. I just bought the polish and I was excited to use it. He kept screaming at me wondering why his dinner wasnt ready. Well I work 10 hours a day and still have to keep the house clean after tornado jackass decides to act like a child. Hmmm I wonder why dinner isnt ready. Normally this didnt bother me but he grabbed my face and screamed at me. The nail polish felt over and spilled all over the floor. I didnt finish my second coat. It was the last bottle in the store. It was limited edition and wouldnt come back out until 6 months. My nails were smudged. I wanted to cry. All my money went to supporting his dumb dreams and stupid issues. All I wanted was something for myself. I just wanted that nail polish. I felt tears run down my face as I got up to wash my hands in the kitchen. I dried my hands on my shirt so I could kept the polish with me somehow. He sat down and laughed. I grabbed a skillet and hit him in the back of the head over and over and over until I couldnt recognize him. I smiled. I felt free and happy. He was dead and I didnt have to cook. I went to shower and get dressed. I grabbed his wallet and his car keys. I drove to the store where they had one polish left which was the tester. I begged for it. The woman had pity on me and gave it to me. I went home to start over as I polished my nails at the table where his brains were smeared everywhere and I finished. It looked wonderful on me.
So thats why you killed your husband? The officers looked shocked as if they couldnt believe someone like me could kill someone.
Yes. I smiled. I was proud of my nails…..
Nobody died in my house. My house wasn’t built on any graves but yet I have a third cat I didn’t know I had. I am not sure if it is male or female but it is sweet and it comes around to play with my cats. I named it Soul. No pun intended. I plan to keep it as long as it allows me. Maybe nobody loved them when they were alive but I will love them now. I just wish Soul would top popping up in random places now. It scares the crap of me.
Im sort of glad dying inside isnt a physical thing you know. Imagine rotting from the inside smelling like a corpse someone left behind by accident in the wood. Flies would surround your body waiting to eat you once the rotting spreaded to your beautiful outside coat. Your organs would shut down or you could be a zombie. So if im sad and dying inside am I a zombie? Well I dont have the urge to eat flesh but sometimes just rip it off other people. I guess that is close enough right. Vampire would be better though.
I cant swim. I always hate being near bodies of water. I tried really hard but I couldnt learn. I use to watch the kids play and wish I could swim like them. One day I told a friend of mine I couldnt swim. I was invited to a pool party so I went. Some people got drunk and started fighting. I was knocked in the pool. I was fighting to get out the water. Everyone watched me die. I saw my body sink to the bottom. I tried to save my body but they slipped through my transparent hands. My body eventually floated to the top. Everyone just stared. My friend walked outside to the pool to see my body. She jumped in to pool me out. She cried and held me yelling at everyone for not helping but I was gone. I sat on the ground staring at my lifeless body and my friend eyes go dark. She went back into the house to grab a few things. She came back out with a gun and was shooting everyone in sight. She snapped.
I watched the bodies fall around me. Blood flying all over the ground. She smiled as she murdered everyone. She put the gun in her back pocket and came over to carry my body. She put me in her car and buckled me in. I sat up front watching my friend in tears. I was all she had. Then she shot herself.