Tear me open PLEASEĀ 

I havent been the same since I woke up in the middle of the woods in an open grave. I didnt go to the hospital because I felt okay.  I went home to shower and continue my day like normal even though I felt far from it. I stood in my living room staring at the wall with a serious throbbing in my head and my throat. It felt like something was trying to get out of my body. I cried in pain scratching at my throat with blood and skin under my nails. I couldnt get it out. My aunt  kicked in my front door to find me on the floor with a knife trying to get it out.

I lie awake in the hospital with restraints. I couldnt move and my throat was bandaged up. I was crying asking what was wrong with me. The doctor says I was trying to kill myself. I told her there is something inside me and I need it out. She said she couldnt find anything. It was all in my mind.

Odd thoughts

Ive never really been a happy person or content. I struggled with depression and anxiety since I was a small child. I once broke free but the demon wouldnt let me go. It never wanted me to be free so it closed me off and every option I had. I use to hurt myself just to feel something besides the emptiness that went on for miles inside me. I havent hurt myself in months. I have needed to wear long sleeves or cover my whole body up anymore. I want to be free but the demon will reclaim me. It wont let me leave. Im not allowed to until I am no longer needed anymore. I wish I wasnt needed so I could go. The demon thinks it protects me by keeping me in this cacoon and fears of the outside world. Yet here I am wondering whether death will be the only time Ill be free. Everyone told me this all was a phase but I am an adult pass my twenties and the demon stays. This is not a phase. Now it is just survival. 

Birth

I had a bad dream I was abducted by aliens and then I woke up. I have been feeling pretty sick and the doctor thinks it might be the flu. I have be throwing up and my chest hurts a lot. My mom laughed about it because she thinks I am pregnant. I think its funny too since guys cant have kids that way. 

I cut down on beer because I am gaining a belly and no matter how much I exercise the tummy is still there. Last night, when I was asleep I saw a foot. Something kicked me from inside my stomach. I am so paranoid and so I went to the hospital. 

I am pregnant and everyone is surprised. There are news reporters always outside my house asking how did this happen. If I knew I am pretty sure I would have prevented it. 

I read to my belly every night. I dont know what it is but I am sort of excited to be a dad…..mom…..wait I dont know what it would call me. How is it suppose to get out of me with no openibg down there? This thing might come out my butt! Oh gosh no.

I have been in labor for 5 hours and the doctor came to my house to help. She was confused as to how she could get it out. She recommended just cutting the baby out. I dont like the idea of someone cutting me or of me pooping out my kid. I agreed to get the baby cut out if she promised to not say anything afterwards. She giggled with excitement and agreed.

The next day I woke up to feed the baby. I figured it is a girl so I named her Sarah. She is so adorable and blue with big giant eyes like a marble seashell. Mom altered all the baby clothes since she has tenticles and no real legs but she has arms. She also hands all her fingers but no toes. I heard a knock on the door and law enforcement demanding to take my baby. I wasnt allowing it……

I had to move away. Sarah and I are doing very well. She is homeschooled since I cant really explain why she looks like a combination of a kitty and octopus. We are liking in a very small town in Alaska. She loves the cold weather and all the snow. I think people finally stopped looking for me when I burned down the house and planted those fake bodies. We are safe for now. If Sarah’s other parent comes back I wonder can I go with them…..

Never there

I fell inlove. We were together for months and I was excited to show the world my love for him. I told him it was time to meet my family but he refused. I figured he was ashamed or not serious about marrying me. I begged and cried but he said he had a valid reason why. I asked him could I meet his family. He looked sad and concerned. After hours of trying to get him to say yes he left me an address to meet him and his parents. I was beyond excited and nervous. I dressed really pretty and made sure to get there early…..

It was a cemetery. I didnt understand but then I did. His parents were dead. I was alone at the grave yard just minutes after the sun rose. I walked about to find their graves and when I found it I sat down in front of them. I took a deep breath and introduced myself. I told then I loved their son and wanted to be with him for eternity. Then my smile left my face when he came up to me. I asked him what was wrong. He had tears running down his face. He removed the vines from the stone next to theres. HERE LIES…… I screamed. I stood up having a panic attack. It couldnt be. It was him. He was dead. He couldnt be dead. We spent months together but he died two years ago. 

I lied awake all night crying and drinking wine. I felt horrible and depressed. It all made sense why he wouldnt let our families meet or why I never been to his house. I cried myself into an uncomfortable sleep. 

I dreamed about him. Every moment played in my dreams. I sat up and realized I couldnt live myself without him. When I turned my head he was sitting in my bed. He apologized and asked me to still be with him forever. He spoke sweet words of love and affection. I waited a long time for someone like him to love me after having such a miserable life. I wasnt going to let such pure love go so I agreed. We would be together forever.

Later, my body was found in my home. I was in my bed and I looked so peaceful. I died in my sleep with a smile on my face. 

Slow Down

Sometimes I watch the world pass me by. Why is everyone in such a rush? Does anyone notice the things coming from the ground? I sit and watch the evil rise from the ground. They morph and blend in with the humans. How can you not see them? Stop! Just look please! They are coming. Nobody sees them. I do. How come I can see them? Do they know I can see them? Wait. They just spotted me…..please slow down and take a look before its too late. 

Whispers

I woke up this morning to a male’s voice. It was sort of broken up and confusing. I don’t remember exactly what the words were but the voice was clear. I sat up at 8:23am looking around for the voice and wondering how anyone could have got into my apartment. I decided to get up and start my day. I sat down and had a cup of coffee then I heard the voice again. It was like the person was standing over me. I could feel someone breathing on my neck but nobody was there…..

The day went as normal. I heard the voice a few times but it was very faint. It was 7:48pm when I decided to stop for gas for my car. After I pumped the gas I sort of sat there in a daze. Then I heard the voice clear as ever. I turned my head to see a man sitting in my car. He turned to me and pointed at the street. HELP! I turn to the street to see the same exact man walking around the street. There was a car coming. I looked to see the person was gone from my car. I looked for the man in the street and all I saw was blood. The car hit him and his body was smeared across the car. I held my mouth at disbelief…….

I lied awake in tears. I could have saved him. The man told me to save him before he died. Why didn’t I save him? I eventually cried myself to sleep.

I woke up early. I could hear a voice of a woman. I closed my eyes and it became very clear. HELP! I opened my eyes and rushed to get dress. I wasn’t going to let that happen again. As I headed towards the door a woman appeared. I looked at her and told her to show me the way so I can save her……

Demon Child

Day 1

I had a strange nightmare and I was afraid to sleep for a long time. I burned sage and everything I was told to do to keep evil spirits away. 

Day 50

Im pregnant……how? I live with a girl cat. She couldnt have done this. The last time I touch a man……hmm well I might be a nun now.

Day 120

My stomach seems to be growing pretty fast. I went to the doctor and they said I am due in a week. I swear this baby just appeared out of thin air. The doctors seemed concern and asked me about the father. I told them that it was impossible to birth Jesus again so I might be giving birth to the anti christ.

Day 130

I am holding my child. My kid has horns not big ones just two cute little ones. He isnt read or have a tail but he still cute. My doctors called to ask for a visit but I told them no. Seems old to say hey here is my demom baby for a check up. 

Day 268

He is crawling. Is that normal? I looked it up on the internet but a baby this young shouldnt be mobile yet. 

Day 274

He wont drink his milk. Im afraid he will die. He likes meat though. He ate my cat. He was just on the floor eating my cat. Wow this is one strong kid. 

Day 346

The neighbors reported me. I am a great mother. An officer is at the door. I opened the door to let her in. She brought a social worker. They asked to see the baby. I put a little beanie on his head so they wouldnt see his horns. They told me he was running a fever and I told them he is fine. They walked out with my baby as I cried. I am an unfit mother they said. He needs medical attention they said.  

They didnt get very far. I walked to the bloody car and opened the door to my giggling baby boy. He ate them…… I picked him up and smiled. I wasnt upset. I love my baby. I guess we have to move now. 

Help Me

She just showed up at my door in tears. I had no idea who she was. She said she heard of me and needed my help. She couldnt sleep or eat. It wouldnt let her. People were afraid to come anywhere near her apartment. She said it was haunted. Everyone thinks their house is some how haunted so I didnt really take her serious. She showed me the marks on her body and they didnt look human. I told her I believed her and I would help. She said no matter where she went it followed so I told her to stay with me. 

I stayed up all night to watch her and to make sure she was safe. The next day we went to a priest to get his input…..a demon he said. Why on earth would she come to me with a demon issue? I could barely handle giving my cats a bath. A demon? Oh hell…..

We all went to her apartment as the priest prepared everything. She held on to me in tears saying she was afraid. I told her everything would be find and he was a professional. In my mind I figured he would die like all horror movies showed me. 

He waved his bible around while throwing holy water every where and telling the demon to go away. I grabbed her hand and we stood back because I knew this would get ugly. As tables flew around and glass broke everywhere she screamed. I couldnt scream and I wasnt afraid. I was more concerned about the bull like human hybrid charging at us at full speed. 

The priest stood his ground as I grabbed her and ran to the door. It wouldnt open. We were trapped inside. I could see the panic on her face. I grabbed a chair and hit the windows trying to get out the house. I had refused to die this way. The window broke and I pushed her out. Run!!!! I told her to not look back as something grabbed my leg and drug me back through the apartment. I grabbed the wooden cross from the floor and started hitting it to let me go. It screamed in pain as I kept hitting it. It let go then there was the priest, dead. His body was snapped in half. His eyes vacant and wide open. I didnt feel anything. I could hear every beat my heart made. 

I stood up as the beast towered over me. I held the heavy cross in my hand and I knew if I had to die I was going to beat the hell out of him every step of the way. I closed my eyes and felt a tear run down my face. I screamed get out over and over while swinging the cross around hitting him. I was crying. I refused to open my eyes but when I did…..it was gone. 

I looked around and saw nothing but the priest body. I heard sirens. There was help here. They came rushing in and asking questions while flashing lights in my eyes. I couldnt feel anything. Time had slowed down. I walked outside to see her run up to me. She hugged me and said thank you. I was asked to go to the station for questioning which I agreed. 

Demon…….you expect us to believe that? I nodded my head. Its all I had. How come we didnt get attacked by this so called demon? The cop laughed. I smiled. I didnt care what they had to say because she was free and so was I. The priest was dead so that meant one of them was next. 

As I was leaving the station I heard screaming. What is that!? Shoot it!!!…..well that wasnt my problem.

Freedom

I an in a maze of confusion about my life. No choice of my own. I have to live with someone else decision. I want the world to stop spinning and the time to stop. I need to think. What should I do? I am stuck. I feel trapped…..but I am not. I will tear through the flesh and free myself. I will be given life to live as I choose. I will not die by the hands of time or the hands of man but by my own. (Shoots self). I am free. Finally. 

A lonely Cat

My neighbor died. He died alone with no one. No funeral. No family. I left flowers at his door. I never felt so sad. I couldnt image how scared he was at his moment of death. 

They never found his body. He was dead and the body went missing. How does that happen? 

There is a cat at my door. He is so cute. He is chubby and reminds me of someone. I take him in. Everyone deserves to be loved at some point. 

I read the newspaper and saw my neighbors picture. I felt a tear run down my face. The cat came and licked my face. His eyes were comforting like everything is okay. 

I tried to pick a name but he didnt like any of them but he answered to one name……..Troy. Troy was my neighbor’s name. He kind of looks like him. They have the same eye color, both husky, and have a little goatee. 

I let the cat outside and he always goes the my neighbors house and sit on his porch swing. Mr. Troy always sat there every morning. 

I think my cat is Mr. Troy. His soul probably went into the cat and came to me. I loved his as if he was my own grandpa. I call his name and he comes. The only name he didnt hiss at was Troy and his body was missing.

I found a old picture of Mr. Troy…..with the same cat I have on his lap. The cat has to be like 30 years old in human years. That’s strange.