I had a bad dream I was abducted by aliens and then I woke up. I have been feeling pretty sick and the doctor thinks it might be the flu. I have be throwing up and my chest hurts a lot. My mom laughed about it because she thinks I am pregnant. I think its funny too since guys cant have kids that way. 

I cut down on beer because I am gaining a belly and no matter how much I exercise the tummy is still there. Last night, when I was asleep I saw a foot. Something kicked me from inside my stomach. I am so paranoid and so I went to the hospital. 

I am pregnant and everyone is surprised. There are news reporters always outside my house asking how did this happen. If I knew I am pretty sure I would have prevented it. 

I read to my belly every night. I dont know what it is but I am sort of excited to be a dad……..wait I dont know what it would call me. How is it suppose to get out of me with no openibg down there? This thing might come out my butt! Oh gosh no.

I have been in labor for 5 hours and the doctor came to my house to help. She was confused as to how she could get it out. She recommended just cutting the baby out. I dont like the idea of someone cutting me or of me pooping out my kid. I agreed to get the baby cut out if she promised to not say anything afterwards. She giggled with excitement and agreed.

The next day I woke up to feed the baby. I figured it is a girl so I named her Sarah. She is so adorable and blue with big giant eyes like a marble seashell. Mom altered all the baby clothes since she has tenticles and no real legs but she has arms. She also hands all her fingers but no toes. I heard a knock on the door and law enforcement demanding to take my baby. I wasnt allowing it……

I had to move away. Sarah and I are doing very well. She is homeschooled since I cant really explain why she looks like a combination of a kitty and octopus. We are liking in a very small town in Alaska. She loves the cold weather and all the snow. I think people finally stopped looking for me when I burned down the house and planted those fake bodies. We are safe for now. If Sarah’s other parent comes back I wonder can I go with them…..


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