I lie next to him thinking of someone else. I tried to forget him but I miss him. He left me alone to die or neglect and sadness so I found something fun. The pain and the pleasure was beyond unbearable. It was what I need after my heart was broken and i wanted to die. Now I am lying here wondering what I do now. I cant go back but there is no future here. I sat up and cried half the night but I couldnt remember why. I have thoughts of just killing him and throwing him in my trunk. Both of them. Then again I could runaway and start over but I am tired of leaving a trail of bodies.