I have cried more times than I can count
I have felt more pain than doubt
I have stared at walls feeling numb
I scratched my skin raw
I have sought help but received drugs
I have spoken but I was never heard
I was broken into further pieces
Then told it is only temporary
So I feel defeated
I am tired of all the excuses
I am waiting for a sign
In the meantime, I will remain here in the dark
I was cleaning up some old stuff. You know spring cleaning when I came across an old picture I drew as a kid. It was a drawing of a dog I think.
I went downstairs to ask my mom who eyes grew wide and disturbed. She grabbed the picture from my hand and looked at it. She shook her head and sat me down to tell me this story…..
I was 4 years old. I was odd so people thought. I was very opinionated for a small child which didn’t make adults like me either. So mom bought me a giant stuffed animal which was a wolf or dog. She said it would be my friend so I wasn’t alone.
I was logical as a child and knew a stuff toy was not a companion at all but accepted. We did everything together. I named him Death. I was obsessed with the grim reaper and told my mom I would marry him someday which my grandma recommended therapy and meds.
I had my first play date and I was not excited to meet the girl. Mom said I had to nice because this could mean friends. I said I would try but not very hard. When the girl arrived I hated her at first sight. She was tall, arrogant, and a year older.
While the parents sat on the patio we played in the backyard a few feet away. She hated Death she said he was stupid and threw him on the ground. I picked him up and hugged him tight while she tried to rip him away. She tore his ear then his legs. Stuffing flew everywhere. I screamed.
My mom was so startled she picked me up looking for a scar or blood. I pointed and cried. My mom looked at Sherry’s mom who apologized. My mom stood me in front of Sherry who refused to apologized so I slapped her. She looked shocked so I slapped her again over and over. Our parents tried to tear us apart as I grabbed her hair and laughed. Sherry and her mom left and my mom looked at me with no surprise in her face.
After hours of trying to put Death back together, mom told me she was sorry. I never felt so hurt and heart broken before. He didn’t look like himself but I loved him either way.
The next day we went to a birthday party. I didn’t want to go but mom said I had to be social so I agreed to try but not hard. I carried Death with me. As soon as I was left alone with the other kids they teased me. Sherry who still held a grudge pushed me down and took my toy. Sherry and Amy decided to rip him apart and worse.
The parents came over to see what was happening and they found me crying with a toy ear and a black eye.
That night I laid in bed with Death’s ear and told him I was a bad friend. I tried so hard and I failed him. I cried all night.
I woke up to hot breath on my face. I opened my eyes to see a massive dog sitting by my bed. His eyes were red and huge. He had ears that were big and stood up. I saw little things coming out his head but I figured he had four ears. I looked down to find Death ear was missing and I looked at the dog to realize he was Death.
I sat up on my bed and he just stared at me.
“Hello”.
He spoke….to me. I didn’t think animals spoke but there he was speaking.
My mouth stood open and closed my mouth with his giant paw which was bigger than my face.
“I have to pee”. I looked at him.
He moved out the was and opened the cracked door. He walked me to the bathroom and waited outside.
As I sat there I cried again. I guess I was confused or afraid but he came in and told me not to cry because he wasn’t broken anymore.
“Death?”
He smiled. His smile was human like not the way dogs do when you see a few teeth. His smiled was from ear to ear. It was comforting as my friend was back but creepy when I think about it from an adult perspective.
I hid him from my mom which was hard with him being so unnaturally big for a dog. I told mom I was ready to have a play date with all the kids from the party and she agreed. She went to call all the moms. I wanted Death to see who they all were so he could see who I wanted to get rid of. Cynical for a four year old I know.
The party went well and later that night I slept soundly. I woke up to hear people taking so I went to see who they were. It was the police. Sherry was missing. The next night Amy and another kid every night. A smile grew across my face.
One day mom entered my room to ask me a question when she saw him. She screamed and grabbed me. She carried me to her room and she found her gun. I told her he was Death. She looked confused and pointed the gun at him. He walked up to us slowly and started talking.
“What the fuck dogs don’t talk and thats not a dog either”.
She shot him once. He kept moving. Twice he kept moving. The last time was in the head. He fell to the floor. She opened the house door as police were coming in. I ran to death and lied on top of him. I cried. I was losing him again.
The police removed me and a few more shots were fired then he was removed.
My mom looked at me while I was holding my drawing. I felt a sense of sadness for some reason. I knew my mom felt she did what was right so I just smiled. I went back upstairs to hang up my picture. I heard a noise. I looked out the window to the backyard and saw him. I went downstairs to the backyard and couldn’t believe he was there. My mom yelled asking who it was. I told her a friend. He smiled at me…..
I woke up in a strange place
There was dirt in my hair
The air smelled like fresh rain
I sat up to see my clothes were wet
It was dark
Like the worst darkness you can think of
I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face
I wanted to cal for help
My voice was afraid of what might answer
I started to walk
Shivering and cold
I was as quiet as possible
The dirt was gummy under my bare feet
Then I heard a noise
The snap of a twig behind me
I stopped afraid to turn around
I decided to run
Pass trees and broken branches on the ground
Pass shadows that danced by the shine of the almost covered moon
I stopped and hid to catch my breath
Someone grabbed me
Shhhhhhhh they said or it will find us
I cried
I woke up in a strange place
There was dirt in my hair
The air smelled like fresh rain
I sat up to see my clothes were wet
It was dark
Like the worst darkness you can think of
I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face
I wanted to cal for help
My voice was afraid of what might answer
I started to walk
Shivering and cold
I was as quiet as possible
The dirt was gummy under my bare feet
Then I heard a noise
The snap of a twig behind me
I stopped afraid to turn around
I decided to run
Pass trees and broken branches on the ground
Pass shadows that danced by the shine of the almost covered moon
I stopped and hid to catch my breath
Someone grabbed me
Shhhhhhhh they said or it will find us
I cried
Dear Disturbing Stories,
Okay so this my sound weird but I think aliens have visited me. Now before you think I am crazy. I live in a small town in Oklahoma and I live by a forest. Now there are some weird shit in that forest and sometimes I see stuff moving in it. What do you think?
-Danny
Well Danny boy, you don’t sound crazy and yes I believe in aliens. Why? Well I highly doubt we are the only planet with living beings seems lonely and odd. I have been to small town and I have seen it all. Believe me nothing surprises me anymore. As far as that forest, depends on the history. Deaths? It could be haunted. Never heard aliens in forest maybe crop circles or somewhere with farm animals. I do not know why they probably like cows as much as I do because they are sooooo cute. Anyways, my advice is stay away from the forest as night. Think logical because are eyes can play tricks on us. As a person who believes, probably not. Don’t worry and mind your manners. If they are aliens they are just curious not looking for drama. If they are spirits they just doing their thing you know floating and looking for meaning in the after life. Just in case it is something more……STAY OUT OF THE FOREST.
-Disturbing Stories (Psycho Love)
10 things I have learned from Horror Movies
So I got a message today or letter well whatever you want to call it….
Dear Disturbing Stories,
Do you believe in ghost? I think my house is haunted. Things get moved around and nothing is where I left it. Should I be worried? What should I do?
From ActionShero
Well hello there and thanks for the message. Yes! I believe in spirits and the paranormal. I have experienced it my whole life from the age of 4.
So things are moving around well don’t worry they can sense that. Has anyone died recently you were close to? It could be them just trying be close to you. From what you are telling me it doesn’t seem evil or bad just there.
What to do? When you are ready and not about to jump out your skin. No joke like a mini heart attack. Just ask it what it wants and who it is. Now, I know that seems terrifying but its not. The best way to know is to ask as my mother always says to me.
I hope this helps. Don’t do anything extreme no boards trying to contact it. Bad idea!
-Disturbing Stories (Psycho Love)
So I got a message today or letter well whatever you want to call it….
Dear Disturbing Stories,
Do you believe in ghost? I think my house is haunted. Things get moved around and nothing is where I left it. Should I be worried? What should I do?
From ActionShero
Well hello there and thanks for the message. Yes! I believe in spirits and the paranormal. I have experienced it my whole life from the age of 4.
So things are moving around well don’t worry they can sense that. Has anyone died recently you were close to? It could be them just trying be close to you. From what you are telling me it doesn’t seem evil or bad just there.
What to do? When you are ready and not about to jump out your skin. No joke like a mini heart attack. Just ask it what it wants and who it is. Now, I know that seems terrifying but its not. The best way to know is to ask as my mother always says to me.
I hope this helps. Don’t do anything extreme no boards trying to contact it. Bad idea!
-Disturbing Stories (Psycho Love)
I always felt I was a failure
I failed relationships
I failed myself
Sometimes I felt I failed my family
I even felt so drowned that I wanted to die
I thought about all the ways I could take my own life wondering would life be better with out me
Something inside me wouldnt let me
Some people say its God
Some say its my conscious
Well what ever it is that feels I am worthy of feeling more than emptiness
Thank you
Whatever you are
Feels nice that a failure like me deserves to feel something more
I always felt I was a failure
I failed relationships
I failed myself
Sometimes I felt I failed my family
I even felt so drowned that I wanted to die
I thought about all the ways I could take my own life wondering would life be better with out me
Something inside me wouldnt let me
Some people say its God
Some say its my conscious
Well what ever it is that feels I am worthy of feeling more than emptiness
Thank you
Whatever you are
Feels nice that a failure like me deserves to feel something more
Disturbing Stories and Random Thoughts 